Who The Hell Do You Think You Are?

Who the hell do you think you are?

There’s been a darkness I’ve been trying to push away.

The anger just beneath the surface, waiting to burst through the smallest cut in my skin - itching to cause dis-ease.

My barrier is thin and weak right now.

I feel everything intensely. It all feels deeply personal. I’ve felt “off.”

A thin barrier can still let the light in.

The dark interior voice

The dark interior voice asking,

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Who the hell do you think you are?”, from an excerpt in Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, has been echoing in my head like binaural beats on amps.

Lately, I’ve been called to create.

What, you ask?

A blog. A T-shirt line (live on Etsy!). Clothes. Jewelry. Music (something unexpected is on the horizon). Social media content. A new offering for my clients.

And so much more.

The first sparks of something new.

I’ve posted my first few blogs

I’ve posted my first few blogs, taken my first sewing lesson, made my first ring and necklace, pitched and landed a new social media collaboration with a local Maui business (coming soon!), pitched to two podcast hosts, launched a new service offering for folks with trauma, burnout, and chronic illness, joined a dance team, and threw myself in the running for a modeling gig.

And I didn’t realize it until I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s words.

In the deepest, innermost part of my being, there’s this voice yelling at me:

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

A new space. A new step.

I. Just. Started.

It’s been deeply ingrained in me to seek out coursework, training, literature, podcasts, etc. on anything new I want to do.

And for most of the things I’ve been creating recently?

I. Just. Started.

I didn’t ask for permission from a mentor, a coach, or an expert.

I simply gave myself permission to be new at something and learn as I go.

Permission can begin with your own hands.

So who the hell do I think I am?

So who the hell do I think I am?

A creator.

A generator.

A creative problem solver.

A dreamer.

Most of all… a beginner.

A girlie following her joy and trusting that it’s already led her exactly where she needs to be.

Keep sparkling,

@Wildlywellnoelle, Founder of @_Ventana.co